So after hearing this I just got severely overwhelmed with anxiety - the fear of the unknown. I didn't want Botox everyday for the rest of my life, considering I had seen some bad Botox jobs for this treatment resulting in the patient's eye permanently closed until it wears off. I certainly was not ok with brain surgery either! I was just an anxious, nervous, overwhelmed, stressed mess at this time... I am a born again Christian and I believe in the power of prayer and God's healing. My husband and I took a trip to the Bethel Healing rooms in Redding. We have heard great things and testimonials of healing there. So we thought, "why not" it would be a nice getaway anyhow. So we went, and nothing unfortunately happened. I am glad we went though, it was a nice experience.
So I decided to ignore my HFS as much as could and deal with it. This in itself has been such a struggle for me. It's hard looking at people when they are talking to me while my face is going crazy and I can't stop it. I have to find the perfect position for my head to sleep at night, and sometimes there is no perfect position and it's hard to sleep.
Here I am a year after my diagnosis and it has progressed. My "good" side is now tingling, twitching and going numb frequently. Sometimes my neck spasms as well, I hear a tapping noise in my ear when I spasm and eat mostly. I have also developed body twitches over the past year. Randomly my arm, leg, fingers, back... you name it, will jerk or twitch. It's odd. One day a few months ago, I decided that I just had it... I want my smile back. I am now in the process of scheduling surgery with the best MVD neuro surgeon in the US - might I say the best in the world. I am fearful of the risks of surgery, long recovery, leaving my children for a week, and the risk that it might not even work, but I need to try it at least.. But what has pushed me to the point of taking a break from my business is the recent symptoms that have arose.
For the past 2 weeks I have been experiencing muscle quivers/tremors all over my body but especially my arms when I use them for a prolonged amount of time as well as extreme weakness and exhaustion. I tried finishing out my booked sessions but they were just getting harder and harder for me. I could barely make it through my sessions last week without just collapsing. I have no idea what these symptoms are, but they are making menial tasks so difficult. Some days are worse than other, some days doing my hair cause my arms to quiver. When I say quiver, imagine that you are out of shape and attempt to do a sit up. Your abs start to shake! That is the same kind of quiver I am talking about. Some days it's not the quiver that takes me out, it's the extreme weakness. I will be ok and then all of the sudden I NEED to lay down or I will feel like lightheaded and a weakness in the pit of my stomach that feels gross.
Apparently these symptoms are unrelated to the HFS (or so I have been told)... I just find it odd that coincidentally I would have 2 nerve issues at the same time. I don't know.
I have recently visited the neurologist for these new symptoms. Honestly he was no help and a little condescending :( They are referring me to a muscle/nerve specialist in Salt Lake.
Throughout this whole experience my faith has been tested. I constantly battle doubt and unbelief. I have realized after growing up Christian, attending a Christian private school, going to church regularly I have just believed what I have been taught. I never really asked myself what I believe is true for me... If that makes sense. It's hard to convey in words the religious dialogue in my head. I am confused and unsure at the moment but I will continue to believe God is good... No matter what. Even thought I may not feel it! I know that I know that I know that He is good... He must be right?
Thanks for reading